Title: My Horizontal Life
Author: Chelsea Hander
Date of Publication: 2005
Publisher: Bloomsbury
Some of you may know who Chelsea is. If you don't, she is credibly one of the funniest Comedians. She has a completely different background and style than Comedians we are familiar with like Kevin Hart or Kathy Griffin. She hits her audience with insults so awkward and mean that they come off funny and not disrespectful. I witness this on her show Chelsea Lately every night at 11pm on E! But enough with the intro, let's get to the Book.
Throughout this book Chelsea describes her many encounters with men inside of her bed room(most of the time). The experiences she describes are either bad or terrible, never good. From witnessing her parents doing the unthinkable when she was seven to having her date accidentally pee on her roommate. Chelsea recalls it all in this memoir. The book takes place in mainly three places. New Jersey(where she grew up), Martha's vineyard , and Mexico. 99.9% of the time when Chelsea experiences something traumatic her best friend Ivory was there to make it worse. Chelsea and Ivory were either drunk, high, or unaware to keep themselves away from trouble with men.
Ivory , her best friend from High School always has boyfriend problems and Chelsea blames Ivory for her commitment issues. Chelsea, in all of her short stories didn't recollect a story where she had a boyfriend for more than three months. Chelsea fills this void with wild and planned one-night stands. Yes, i said it! She planned every single one-night stand and described it in its full extent. From planning what race, height, personality, and SIZE the lucky man was going to be. She even planned on what her status was going to be. From drunk, high, hard to get, flirtatious, funny, or charming. Throughout this whole autobiography Chelsea was more than a mess and i loved every page of it.
Quotation:
"I used to live with a twenty-eight year old virgin. That's right. Not a Mormon, not a religious thing, just plain stupid" (Handler 83)
This quotation comes from chapter Chapter 10: The Cookie Monster. In this chapter Chelsea is expressing her dislike for he roommate because they have nothing in common. She dislikes her roommate so much she's trying to help her out. "dumb dumb" (roommate's nickname) isn't getting help from Chelsea out of pure kindness but she's trying to get a guy to come over and "dumb dumb" doesn't like that. Chelsea's only way of getting her out is to get her laid. That plan fails severely though. I enjoyed this book because mostly because of the way Chelsea expresses her opinions. That is why I chose that quote above. I thought it was funny because i could hear her saying this on her show. It's such a rude opinion that I laugh hysterically.
Hope you guys get the book, this one will surely leave an impression.
